In some of my presentations on gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered issues, I refer to the Riddle Scale and I sometimes do a "read around" activity where people take turns reading responses to the question, "Why Should I Come Out?" Below is this information.

Riddle Scale

In the clinical sense, homophobia is defined as an intense, irrational fear of same sex relationships that become overwhelming to the person. In common usage, homophobia is the fear of intimate relationships with persons of the same sex. Below are listed four negative attitudes and four positive attitudes toward gay and lesbian relationships/people. They were developed by Dr. Dorothy Riddle, a psychologist from Tucson, Arizona.

Negative Levels of Attitude:

Repulsion.
Homosexuality is seen as a "crime against nature." Gays/lesbians are sick, crazy, immoral, sinful, wicked, etc. and anything is justified to change them (e.g., prison, hospitalization, negative behavior therapy including electric shock).

Pity.
Heterosexual chauvinism. Heterosexuality is more mature and certainly to be preferred. Any possibility of becoming straight should be reinforced and those who seem to be born "that way" should be pitied, "the poor dears."

Tolerance.
Homosexuality is just a phase of adolescent development that many people go through and most people "grow out of." Thus nonheterosexuals are less mature than straights and should be treated with the protectiveness and indulgence one uses with a child. Gays and Lesbians should not be given positions of authority (because they are still working through adolescent behaviors).

Acceptance.
Still implies there is something to accept, characterized by such statements as "You're not a gay to me, you're a person." "What you do in bed is your business," That's fine as long as you don't flaunt it." This stage denies the social and legal realities, and ignores the pain of invisibility and the stress of closet behavior. "Flaunt" usually means to say or do anything that makes people aware.

Positive Levels of Attitude

Support.
Basic ACLU approach. Work to safeguard the rights of gays and lesbians. Such people may be uncomfortable themselves, but they are aware of the climate and the irrational unfairness.

Admiration.
Acknowledges that being Lesbian/Gay in our society takes strength. Such people are willing to truly look at themselves and work on their own homophobic attitudes.

Appreciation.
Values the diversity of people and see gays and lesbians as a valid part of that diversity. These people are willing to combat homophobia in themselves and in others.

Nurturance.
Assumes that lesbian and gay people are indispensable in our society. They view gays with genuine affection and delight and are willing to be advocates for these issues.

adapted from "Opening Doors to Understanding and Acceptance" workshop by Kathy Obear

Why Come Out?

Email responses to the question: "Why Should You Come Out of the Closet?"
collected by Paul Wesselmann, Stone Soup Seminars
may be reproduced with credit given to collector

Because it is difficult. And whoever told you life was easy was selling something -SH

Because my grandma needs to know that when she sends money to Rush Limbaugh it makes it more difficult for me. -LD

Being in the closet is like having heavy weights on your shoulders, but until the weight (of the closet) is lifted, you don't realize how much of a burden it really was. -MP

Coming out is one way of affirming your dignity and the dignity of other lesbians and gay men. -DS

Even though I consider myself bisexual, I'm glad I'm out of the closet about my attraction to men. All that careful self-editing is a big waste of energy. Being out lets me put that energy into things that I think are important, like my interest in ecology. -TC

Even though we're different as individuals, we gain strength in demonstrating the one thing we have in common. That is about the only thing American society understands. LB

I am gay. People need to know that. They need to know I'm proud of it. That I don't think it's a dirty secret. That I won't treat myself or be treated as a second class citizen. -TG

It is more fun, relaxing, and sane to not have to hide an important part of yourself. -DM

Learning to function as the gay man I am has given me the first experience of feeling like I belong on the planet, and have as much to offer and as much right to receive as anyone else. -HB

Peace within yourself, Peace within yourself, Peace within yourself! Even if the reaction is negative, you at least have the peace to know that you have been honest with yourself and can sleep the sleep of those with uncluttered souls. -KK

Sharing who we are with other people is what our most fulfilling social interactions are all about. How sad it would be for me if I loved all sports with a passion, but was too ashamed to admit it, or too fearful of what others might think. How would I feel about myself when swimming on the sly? Or how would my attitude influence the way I relate to a basketball? -BH

So the people who live, work, and associate with me are likely to conclude that lesbians aren't so menacing and maladjusted after all; maybe we even deserve rights and respect like anyone else. -SS

The world needs to understand the volume of individuals who are involved and the quality of these communities. -SH

To come out of the closet is to remove a roadblock to fulfillment and happiness. -PO

To show others we are not ashamed; hiding always suggests shame, even if it isn't there. -CC

We owe it to the young people who won't live past their teens, and to those who believe that the only room is the closet, when the whole world is there waiting to be explored. -LB

Wherever I stand in the continuum of coming out, there's still another step to take. The alternative, it seems clear, is stagnation--or regression. It's a process of personal, individual growth, and it contributes to a collective process as well. -JS

You get to meet some FAB-U-LOUS people that you may not have met if you stayed in the closet due to fear of association. -DR